


breathing

by doitsushine92



Series: Dreamies A/B/O [14]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Cheating accusations, Discussions of Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics and Roles, Discussions of Heats and Ruts, Fights, Insecurity, Jealousy, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan & Mark Lee Are Best Friends, Lots of Crying, M/M, Mentions of Physical Fights, Rated M for Language and Mentions of Sex, Self-Esteem Issues, more angst than fluff, take a shot every time i make hyuck cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-10-14 18:17:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17513531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doitsushine92/pseuds/doitsushine92
Summary: On some level, Donghyuck is aware that they love him, regardless of his status. He knows that Renjun would willingly and gladly spend a whole day scenting him if it meant his peace of mind, that Jeno doesn’t care in the slightest about who he smells like because his heart belongs to Donghyuck, Renjun and Jaemin, that Jaemin will shrug off every omega on Earth because he only has eyes for the three of them. But rationality and logic have never been good friends with Donghyuck and they get easily shoved to the back of his mind in favour of feeding his insecurity and fears.





	breathing

**Author's Note:**

> you guys asked for this

Donghyuck doesn’t usually dwell on the negative thoughts. He has them, because everyone does, but he’s quick to shut them down, because they’re no good to him or his health and really, what’s he going to gain from letting them run rampant around his mind? That’s right, nothing. So, he doesn’t.

But that doesn’t mean they’re not there, nor does it mean they don’t get to him every once in a while. Lately, it’s become more often, more frequent and they’ve gotten more intense, too, to the point he’ll space out during class or conversations or while studying. They’re even starting to mess with him in the middle of tests and exams and Donghyuck absolutely cannot let that happen. His grades are far too important.

You see, Donghyuck has always felt a bit off about his status. He’s the first beta in his family since his great-grandmother (if you don’t count his father, of course, who’s an alpha), and so he’s always been a bit like the odd one out. Dongyoung is an omega, a pretty, tall omega who had every alpha in school at his feet from the moment he stepped foot in the building, and his sister just recently presented as an omega too. So for the time being, until his littler brothers present, he’s the only beta in the house. And something tells him that will continue to be the case for a long time.

At first, his secondary gender was a blessing, especially to his parents. They wouldn’t have to worry about heats, ruts, alphas or omegas knocking on their door, no mood swings or tantrums due to hormonal imbalances, just a normal kid, their Donghyuck with his temper and his attitude they were used to. There was no need to fear any of the things they had to deal with before when Dongyoung lived in the house and they were thrilled. His father still worries, to this day, even if Dongyoung is living with his alpha boyfriend Jungwoo and he is completely safe. The parents of omegas never really stop worrying.

And Donghyuck was happy, yeah, because he saved his parents from going through everything all over again. But he could never quite shake off the feeling that something was wrong, especially when his mother and brother discussed omega business and he had no idea what they were talking about.

Once Mark presented as an alpha, Donghyuck wished with all he had that he would present as an omega. When he and Jeno started dating and Jeno presented as an alpha too, he wished for it even more. Then he started dating two other alphas and Donghyuck’s desire never died down. It diminished a little, what with their constant praise and reassurance that he was perfect for them, but it didn’t go away. To this day, he still wishes for it.

Betas were never considered important. Female betas aren’t near as fertile as their omega counterparts and the males don’t have the strength that alphas possess and so they have always been seen as the minority, the overlooked status. Why would an alpha want a beta when she couldn’t give him babies as well as an omega could? Why would an omega want a beta if they couldn’t protect them as well as an alpha could? Not to mention betas aren’t built to handle an alpha during sex, and there have been way too many instances where alphas lost control during a rut-induced frenzy and killed their beta companions.

Then there’s the deal with the scents. Betas have weaker scents so their claim on other wolves don’t last for long and vice versa, and most alphas and omegas find it too tedious to be scenting their partners every day when they could easily find someone who’ll remain smelling of them for a week or more. Donghyuck’s boyfriends have never seemed to mind too much having to scent him multiple times a week but that’s now. What’s going to happen in a couple of years?

Currently, that’s Donghyuck’s biggest fear: his boyfriends realizing that being with him is too much work, too much hassle, and how much easier it would be to get a cute omega to call theirs. And then the incident with Jisung happens and Donghyuck is terribly aware of how much shit he’s in, how little he can provide for them.

Jaemin wanted _Jisung_ during his rut, knowingly so or not. He wanted an omega to get him through his rut and then bolted out of the kitchen when Donghyuck tried to touch him. He’ll admit to pouting the entire ride to his house, but he won’t admit to the tears he shed when it really sunk in. His mind keeps going back to all the small instances where Renjun would complain that Donghyuck is back to smelling like himself and not them, how his boyfriends are always being approached and hit on by others because there’s barely any trace of Donghyuck on their skin, then to the health class in high school where they were essentially told that betas were useless in the face of a rut or a heat due to their lack of knots and natural slick, which just makes things that much harder for both parties to enjoy it.

As soon as Donghyuck lets the doubts swarm in, they stay and they grow bigger and bigger every day. “Betas are better off with other betas,” their old teacher would say. That was before they were fired, of course, but Donghyuck knows this is a common thought. People truly believe that his kind are better with the same secondary gender, so they can be disappointing and average together. Donghyuck never used to believe that, until now. Now he thinks they’re right. Maybe his boyfriends would be better off with omegas and he should find another beta to date.

Donghyuck begins to overthink everything. He thinks back to the day when he rejected Byungho, how he clearly was only looking for a hook-up because he thought betas were only good for that. He thinks about Christmas and the group of omegas who assumed him and Jaemin were just friends because Jaemin didn’t smell like him. He thinks about all those times his boyfriends had omegas hitting on them, smelling alpha and nothing else. How many times has he had to fight them off? How many times has he witnessed Jeno, Renjun or Jaemin try to explain to others that they’re taken, and get incredulous looks because there’s no physical evidence of it?

On some level, Donghyuck is aware that they love him, regardless of his status. He knows that Renjun would willingly and gladly spend a whole day scenting him if it meant his peace of mind, that Jeno doesn’t care in the slightest about who he smells like because his heart belongs to Donghyuck, Renjun and Jaemin, that Jaemin will shrug off every omega on Earth because he only has eyes for the three of them. But rationality and logic have never been good friends with Donghyuck and they get easily shoved to the back of his mind in favour of feeding his insecurity and fears.

Most alphas would never waste their time with a beta. Why would they? Omegas are prettier, smaller and better mates. Renjun could even date someone shorter than him. It’s probably the stupidest of his insecurities but Donghyuck hates being bigger than Renjun because the alpha has enough problems as it is with his status and dating a beta taller and sturdier than him is probably not on his bucket list. 

The bottom line is: Donghyuck will never be enough for three alphas. 

~

The night of their outing to the bar, long after Jeno fell asleep, Donghyuck sneaks into the bathroom and stares at his reflection in the mirror. Jeno’s bite is still red and glaringly obvious, but Donghyuck knows it’ll heal overtime. Betas heal faster than the others and bites never last too long on them. There’s dried blood on Donghyuck’s skin; the boy picks at it until it falls away.

When he sniffs his shirt, he realizes there are still traces of Yukhei on him, Jaemin and then the most potent scent is Jeno. It’s a miracle it’s lasted this long. There’s a purple bruise belonging to Jaemin on the base of his neck, an inch or two below the bite. Donghyuck traces the mark with his fingers absentmindedly and does a lot of thinking. He’s not sure why Renjun wanted him to make out with Yukhei but he suspects it had something to do with getting Jaemin riled up. Otherwise, Renjun wouldn’t have entertained the idea of sending his boyfriend into the arms of another alpha.

It brings some comfort to know that. Whenever Donghyuck begins to feel insecure, when his doubts get too loud inside his head, he remembers the lengths Renjun will go to in order to make sure people knew Donghyuck was with them and it immediately lifts his spirits. If Renjun is willing to do so much then it’s gotta be for a good reason, right? Donghyuck hangs on to that thought until the black cloud dissipates.

The bathroom door opens suddenly and lo and behold, Renjun is there, his lips curling into a smile when he sees Donghyuck is inside, then he frowns as he notices the troubled expression he wears. “What’s wrong?”

Donghyuck shrugs. They stare at each other in the mirror until Renjun sighs and says, “Donghyuck, we have a telepathic connection and you know it. I can hear you thinking. Spill.”

“We don’t have a telepathic connection,” Donghyuck mumbles, stalling for time.

Renjun rolls his eyes. “Yeah, we do. You said we were soulmates and I say we have a connection.”

“We were ten when I said that.”

“Does it matter?” Renjun snaps. Donghyuck curls into himself at the harsh tone, never expecting it when Renjun gets mad or yells at him because it hardly ever happens. Renjun apologizes in a heartbeat, then adds, “Hyuckie, please tell me what’s wrong.”

“It’s stupid,” Donghyuck murmurs as he plays with his fingers. Renjun reaches out and stops him from picking at his nails, instead locks their fingers together and tugs Donghyuck closer. The bathroom is narrow enough as it is but Renjun still wants to be closer because he’s never satisfied when it comes to physical affection and his boyfriends. 

“It isn’t stupid if it’s making you this sad,” Renjun says gently. Donghyuck takes one look into those eyes and he nearly crumbles. He wants to tell Renjun everything but he can’t – he’s not ready.

“I can’t,” Donghyuck admits. “But I promise I’ll tell you soon, alright? I just need some time to think about stuff.”

Renjun scrutinizes him for some agonizing seconds and then he sighs, accepting that Donghyuck isn’t ready to talk at the moment and respecting his boundaries. “Come cuddle with me and Jaemin, at least? He’s hogging all the blankets and I need someone to keep me warm.”

“Weren’t you going to use the bathroom?” Donghyuck asks. Renjun nods and makes him promise to wait for him.

While Renjun goes about his business, Donghyuck wakes Jeno and directs him to the bedroom. Jeno does as he’s told with shut eyes and a sleepy kiss directed to Donghyuck that lands more on his hair than on his person. Renjun exits the bathroom and skips over to Donghyuck, taking him to the bedroom to join the other two. Jeno is using Jaemin as a bed than the actual device, but they’re all used to him being a giant baby. Renjun takes up the other half of the bed and lets Donghyuck crash between him and Jaemin, the two curling around each other instantly. 

It’s at times like these, when Donghyuck can hear his boyfriends snoring around him, their body heats and their scents, that Donghyuck doesn’t feel so bad about himself. 

~

But just as he has good days, he has the bad days. And the following morning is a _bad_ day.

For starters, he wakes up alone. The sheets are cold and the apartment is silent, which means his boyfriends have been gone for some time. It hurts, probably more than it should, to be left behind like this. Rationally, he knows they’re probably getting breakfast and decided not to wake him, but still.

Donghyuck throws the covers off and searches for his phone in the mess that is Jaemin’s room. He’d discarded his jeans sometime during the night to be more comfortable and as far as he remembers his phone was still in the back pocket, but he finds it instead plugged into an unknown charger on the bedside table. It’s fully charged, too, and that doesn’t help his anxiety at all. He’s positive it was completely dead before they even left the bar, so they’ve must have plugged it up hours ago – his phone is a little bitch that doesn’t charge quickly.

His first instinct is to call Renjun to ask where they went, but he thinks that would be too pathetic even for him. Instead, he steals some clothes from Jaemin’s closet and goes to shower, taking his sweet time to try and calm his nerves. The shampoo Jaemin uses smells a little too strongly for Donghyuck’s taste and his hair conditioner is made up of ten different fruit extracts, but the familiar smell gives Donghyuck a strange fluttering in his stomach. The soap is overly sweet, too. After washing his hair and then blow-drying it, he puts on Jaemin’s sweats and hoodie and settles on the couch, a throw pillow between his legs, and calls Renjun. The coffee pot takes a while to spurt out the coffee and Donghyuck knows it’s best for him to take it easy.

“Hey, babe,” Renjun picks up after the third ring, sounding cheery as ever. The sound of his voice loosens the knot on Donghyuck’s chest, at last. “Did you sleep well? I know it’s almost noon but we didn’t want to wake you.”

“You looked so cute asleep!” shouts Jaemin into the receiver. Donghyuck smiles while listening to the two squabble over the phone. Eventually, Renjun wins.

“Sorry about that,” he says sheepishly. “Did you sleep well? We got breakfast!”

“I slept fine,” Donghyuck says, picking at a thread on the pillow. “Where did you go buy breakfast? You’ve been gone for a while, that’s all,” he rushes to add.

“Originally we were just going to the bakery down the road but we ran into Dongmyeong and he told us about some new place he and Dongju are working at so we went there. It’s further from Jaemin’s place but my God Hyuckie these scones are amazing! Also, nothing beats Dongju getting annoyed at Jaemin for hitting on his brother.”

Of course. It’s just like Jaemin to find the sweetest omega in the city of Seoul and hit on him. Donghyuck’s stomach churns at the idea but he shoves it down. “Give Dongju my condolences,” he croaks out.

Renjun relays his message and then Dongju’s voice comes over the phone, “I don’t want your condolences, I want you to get your stupid boyfriend away from Dongmyeong.”

“That’s hyung to you!”

“One minute!”

Renjun gets his phone back and he promises Donghyuck they’ll be back soon, to wait a little longer. Donghyuck agrees and the call dies. The apartment smells of coffee and Donghyuck’s little pity fest.

Of course, he puts on a big smile when they get back, because he’d rather eat his own tongue than to let them know of his internal debate. It would lead to a serious conversation and Donghyuck isn’t ready for that. But they smell it, all over him and all over the apartment, and Jeno doesn’t waste two seconds to wrap him up in a hug and ask what’s wrong. Donghyuck deflects every question, makes up some bullshit answer about early morning nightmares and ignores Renjun’s pointed look. 

Despite getting to try some samples at the store, none of the three alphas had actually eaten yet, and the four sit on the kitchen table to share breakfast.

“Dongmyeong got us a bag of free samples,” Jaemin smiles widely as he presents the aforementioned bag. Donghyuck can actually see Dongmyeong’s sweet grin as he offered the bag and he wants to vomit. “Let’s try them out.”

“Actually,” Donghyuck says suddenly. Jeno’s hand stops midway to his mouth, a pastry held between his fingers. “I’m not really that hungry and I promised Chaewon I’d meet with her for a group project, I should get going. You don’t mind if I borrow your clothes, right?” Jaemin shakes his head, as dumbfounded as the others, and Donghyuck bolts out of the apartment, only stopping to put on his shoes. 

~

There’s not really a meeting with Chaewon. Donghyuck makes a beeline for his brother’s apartment instead, too upset to go home. 

Dongyoung is making lunch when Donghyuck arrives, Jungwoo hovering around him in an attempt to help but he gets shooed away more often than not. Donghyuck has a key that Dongyoung gave him when they first rented the apartment with a promise that Donghyuck was always welcome – and Jungwoo insisting he called if he was going to visit late at night – so Dongyoung is a bit surprised when Donghyuck bursts into their kitchen, teary-eyed. Jungwoo gets a spatula shoved to his chest in order for Dongyoung to gather his little brother into his arms. 

“What’s wrong?” Dongyoung demands to know. “What did those asshole alphas do?”

“They didn’t do anything,” Donghyuck says pitifully. “I’m just being stupid.”

“I don’t know if I should believe your judgement,” Dongyoung sighs. 

Donghyuck is guided to sit on a kitchen stool and is continued to be smothered in a hug from his brother, Jungwoo whispering something about not suffocating their little boy. If he were in a better state of mind, Donghyuck would protest at being called their little boy. 

“What happened?” Dongyoung asks again. Jungwoo makes sure the water is boiling before abandoning the stove and joining them at the table. “You look terrible, Hyuck.”

“Thanks,” Donghyuck laughs without humour, “I feel terrible. But it’s the stupidest thing, hyung, the stupidest thing ever.”

“If it’s making you so miserable then it can’t be that terrible,” Jungwoo tells him gently. “You can talk to us. Or if you want, I can leave you two alone?”

“No,” Donghyuck shakes his head. “That’s okay, hyung. I could actually use your advice. An alpha’s perspective on this.”

Dongyoung and Jungwoo share a look charged with meaning. Dongyoung picks his next words as carefully as possible, the apprehension palpable in his voice, “Donghyuck. Did something happen with the boys? With their ruts? Did they-?”

“No!” Donghyuck nearly shouts when he understands what Dongyoung is hinting at. “No, hyung, I swear. It’s nothing like that. You know they wouldn’t,” he stresses. Dongyoung relaxes in his chair at the reassurance. “Although it is related to ruts, I guess?”

“What is it?” Jungwoo asks. 

Donghyuck takes a deep breath to steel his nerves. He doesn’t know if he has enough words to describe his problems to them but he’s gotta try. 

“I don’t feel like I’m enough for them,” he whispers. “I’m just a beta and they’re alphas, they need omegas to take care of them and I can’t provide for them what an omega could. I don’t even have anything to show for our relationship,” he continues, “because their scents don’t last on me and neither does mine on them. And the other day, when Jaemin went into rut, he wanted Jisung but he didn’t let me get near him. And today he was hitting on Dongmyeong, another omega. And I’m scared that they’ll realize I’m not good enough and they’ll leave me,” he sobs. “I’m just a beta, hyung. They’d be so much better off with omegas, what are they even doing with me? Am I just a distraction? Something to pass the time until they decide they should settle down and they leave me?”

“Baby,” Dongyoung whimpers. “That’s not true. You know that by principle I don’t trust alphas other than our dad and Jungwoo, so believe me when I say that this isn’t the case. Those three love you like crazy,” he says, “and it’s kinda gross, yeah, you’re my little brother and you’re not supposed to kiss boys or whatever. But I’d let them take you blindfolded to the end of the world because I know they would never do anything to hurt you.”

Donghyuck only sobs harder because he knows that’s true. Dongyoung has a low tolerance to other alphas but he pushed Donghyuck to speak up about his feelings to his boyfriends, he’s one of the reasons they’re together today. He also knows that Renjun, Jeno and Jaemin love him as much as Dongyoung claims and Donghyuck adores them too. That’s why it hurts so much, because their downfall might not be them but their nature and that’s gotta be the worst reason for a breakup in history.

“Jaemin hitting on Dongmyeong was kinda shitty, I’ll give you that,” Jungwoo admits. “But I agree with hyung. And besides, you know Jaemin will flirt with anyone that breathes near him, that doesn’t mean he loves you any less. Flirting is harmless and especially when it’s for fun. Donghyuck,” he sighs, “you got nothing to worry about on that end.”

“And what’s this I hear about ruts?” Dongyoung asks. “It doesn’t matter if you’re not an omega, you can still take care of them. I don’t give you permission to do so, but I know you’ll do it anyways. I’m not happy about that,” he huffs. His attempt at cheering up Donghyuck is met with a teary smile, and he counts it as a success. Jungwoo reaches forward and wipes the tears from Donghyuck’s cheeks with a gentle smile and an even gentler touch. 

“I don’t think Dongyoung hyung and I are the most qualified to help you with that,” Jungwoo says. “But you could talk to Xuxi and Mark – they’re an unconventional couple too, they could offer a better insight than us. And Mark is your best friend.”

Donghyuck doesn’t want to go to Mark about this, but he knows Jungwoo is right. Mark’s his best friend; he would never lie to Donghyuck. 

“Thank you, hyungs,” Donghyuck tells them. He feels better after talking to them – not top notch, but at least he’s not about to start crying again soon. He declines their offer to stay for lunch since he ate not too long ago and he leaves shortly after. 

To get a hold of Mark has been hard the last few weeks, but today Mark picks up his phone on the first call. Donghyuck doesn’t offer much explanation on why he needs to see him, and Mark doesn’t prod, invites him to his and Yukhei’s shared apartment. 

Donghyuck is back to feeling like he’s short of breath by the time he makes it to Mark’s place, not to mention the embarrassment he feels at making out with Yukhei, but Mark doesn’t look like he particularly cares about that and lets him in with a simple greeting. They sit down on opposite ends of the couch and Mark lets Donghyuck stew in his own nerves for a minute before asking, “So, what’s up?”

“How do you and Xuxi deal with ruts?” Donghyuck blurts out. Mark’s eyes widen. “I’m sorry if that was too forward but I kinda need to know.”

“We have sex?” Mark asks. “I guess? Why do you need to know?”

“It’s stupid,” Donghyuck has lost track of how many times he’s said that today. 

“Is this about what happened with Jisung?” Mark inquires carefully and Donghyuck kind of hates how much Mark knows him and his every thought.

Donghyuck nods. “Well, yes and no. It’s related but not totally because of it. I don’t know, Mark, I’m just,” Donghyuck sighs, frustrated. “I’m being an insecure little shit, that’s all.”

“Why don’t we start from the beginning?” Mark suggests, his expression that of a lost kitten. So Donghyuck explains everything to him and by the end of it Mark hugs him and says gently, “Hyuck, you’re being stupid. Need I remind you that statuses aren’t our sovereign masters anymore? Who gives a shit if you’re a beta or an omega? I know they’ll still be more than happy if you offer to help them through their ruts. I hated saying that.”

Donghyuck giggles. Mark smiles at him, endeared, and adds, “Yukhei and I are both alphas and we manage just fine, I think you and the guys will be okay, too. And if Jaemin or any of the others make you feel like shit again, please let me know so I can beat their asses.”

Overwhelmed, Donghyuck can only hug Mark again with everything he’s got and thank him over and over. “How is it that you made me feel better about this whole thing than my brother did? What’s your secret?”

“There are no secrets between us, Hyuck,” Mark says. Donghyuck wants to cry for a whole set of different reasons this time. “You should talk to them. You keep preaching to me about how communication is everything in a relationship so maybe you should take your own advice this time. Tell them how you feel. I’m sure they’ll understand.”

Donghyuck nods, finally feeling at peace. Mark sighs in relief at his clear calmness and says, “You wanna stay for dinner? We could have a sleepover, too. Xuxi’s at his aunt’s for the weekend.”

There’s really no reason for him to say no. They order pizza and watch random TV shows, Mark forces Donghyuck to help him sort out a new Spotify playlist for studying and then they end up passing out in the living room, not entirely on the couch but not entirely on the floor either. The next morning, Donghyuck can’t move his neck without feeling like it’s going to crack in ten different places and Mark’s entire back is ramrod stiff but Donghyuck can’t complain. 

“I can fry some eggs?” Mark offers. Donghyuck’s pointed look is enough answer and the alpha lets Donghyuck take over the kitchen, safely retreating to the living room to tidy up their mess from last night. He doesn’t remember the last time he ate so much shit in one night. “Have you seen my phone?!” he yells in the general direction of the kitchen.

“The last time I saw it you were stuffing it under the cushions!” Donghyuck shouts back.

“Why the hell would I do that?”

“How should I know?”

Mark is close to losing his mind when he finds the phone. It was, indeed, stuffed under a cushion on the reclining chair, and he still doesn’t remember why he put it there. Donghyuck calls him for breakfast and they eat standing up, bickering over the coffee mugs and nearly spilling the entire bottle of cream Mark insists on buying because he says it’s better than milk. After eating, Mark does the dishes and he allows Donghyuck another hour of procrastination before he says, as gently as he can, “I think it’s time you call the guys, Hyuck.”

Donghyuck sighs like it’s taking too much out of him but he reaches for his phone anyway. He bypasses all the unread messages on their groupchat and texts them if they can meet up at his house at four. He adds that there’ll be snacks for bait. Not that he needs the bait, they’re always more than happy to visit and Donghyuck has a feeling they’re eager to see him. After the little scene he caused yesterday, they’ll want to have a talk. As expected, they immediately answer yes and Mark has to give Donghyuck a million different pep talks before sending him out. 

None of Donghyuck’s siblings are home at the moment – his sister has a party and his little brothers are off somewhere with his parents. Donghyuck would love a distraction while he waits for the clock to strike four o’clock, but he realizes it will be a lot easier to have a serious discussion of his feelings if his brothers aren’t shooting their nerf guns around them.

When it’s time, Donghyuck makes coffee and scavenges the kitchen for cookies he knows are there somewhere. He knows his mom keeps a stash of them for when she or his sister are in heat and need sugar to keep going but she never revealed the hiding spot. He finds a bag of marshmallows just in time for the doorbell to ring and he hopes they don’t have a problem with the combination. They’ll probably not even care about it, but Donghyuck needs to pretend like everything is okay.

The first few minutes are awkward, no matter how much they act like it isn’t. Or at least it is until Renjun looks straight at Donghyuck and asks him, “Why did you run away yesterday? And why were you acting so weird the other night?”

“The other night?” Jeno frowns.

“The night of the bar,” Renjun says without looking at him, his eyes set on Donghyuck.

Donghyuck feels like he’s going to throw up but he already told them they need to talk, they’re here already, it’s too late to back out. “Sometimes I feel like I’m not enough for you,” he breathes. He kind of expected Jeno to give the scandalized gasp he does, but he didn’t expect Renjun or Jaemin to go stony silent. “I don’t know. I’ve already talked to my brother and Jungwoo, and last night I talked to Mark about it too, so I’m not really feeling as shitty as I did yesterday, but I still have to talk to you because it’s the fair thing to do.”

“The fair thing to do?” Jaemin asks incredulously. “The fair thing to do would have been talking to us _first_ , not after telling half the city about your problems! And Mark? Really?”

“Mark,” Donghyuck hisses, “Is my best friend. I tell him everything and I wouldn’t even be here talking to you if it weren’t for him so watch your tone when you talk about him.”

“You can’t tell me to watch my tone when you keep running back to him every time you have the slightest inconvenience instead of coming to your boyfriends about it,” Jaemin snaps. “If you like him so much, why don’t you just date him instead and save us the heartbreak?”

Renjun and Jeno had been watching the argument like an audience at a tennis match, but their eyes glue to Jaemin when he speaks. Donghyuck, through the tear in his heart, asks, “What the fuck is your problem?”

“My problem?” Jaemin exclaims. “What’s your problem, Donghyuck, which you can’t talk to us about?”

“You’re my problem!” Donghyuck yells, having had enough. “You, Jaemin are my problem. You keep hitting on omegas and acting like I’m not enough for you and I’m tired, I’m exhausted of feeling like I don’t matter to you.”

A stunned silence follows, but a heartbeat later Jaemin bounces back up and shouts, “How the fuck do you think I feel when you don’t seem to care about me as much as you do about Mark?”

“It’s been years!” Donghyuck stresses. “Years! What part of I’m over him do you still not fucking understand, Na? Are you brain dead or something? Did fucking so many omegas destroy all your brain cells?”

Renjun tries getting them to calm down, but Donghyuck isn’t backing down, not now. He doesn’t even care when he climbs on the couch to tower over Jaemin, his whole face and neck red as he and Jaemin continue screaming at each other. “I have never cheated on you, Donghyuck. And I don’t believe that you’re over him. Are we replacements for him? Is that what this is? You can’t have the great Mark so you settle for second best? You want to know the reason why I hit on others so often? It’s because they at least pay real attention to me.”

Through his tears and the steam he feels coming out of his ears, Donghyuck delivers his final blow: “You know what? You can go ahead and screw whatever omega lands at your feet. Now get out of my house, Na. I’m done with you.”

Donghyuck doesn’t hear anything else after that. His heart is in his throat and he’s really going to throw up now, so he does the only thing he can and locks himself in the bathroom. The nausea never subsides but he doesn’t vomit all over the place, although he does cry his eyes out, more than he has all weekend. He doesn’t open the door when Jeno knocks, clearly crying too and begging him to please talk to him, nor does he open it when Renjun tries, all gentle promises of listening to him.

Jaemin doesn’t knock. Jaemin leaves the house ten seconds after Donghyuck abandons the living room.

~

“What the fuck happened to you?” Donghyuck gasps upon seeing him.

Mark limps into his room with a grimace, shutting the door behind him and shrugging in response. “I told you I’d beat their asses.”

Donghyuck gapes at him. “You got into a fight with the three of them?” he asks. Mark shakes his head and says, “Just Jaemin. He looks worse than I do, if it makes you feel better.”

“It doesn’t,” Donghyuck scowls. Mark shrugs again and sits beside him on the bed, looking pitiful with his busted lip and black eye, the cuts and scrapes on his face still bloody. His knuckles are equally bruised, slowly turning purple. “I’ll get the first aid kit, wait here.”

Mark lets Donghyuck patch him up the best he can in silence. The older boy’s chest tightens at the tear marks still clear on Donghyuck’s cheeks and his hands curl into fists unconsciously, his protectiveness over his best friend once again getting the best of him. He wishes he could go back and punch Jaemin in the face again, but Donghyuck reprimands him with a glare and continues bandaging his bruises. 

“All done,” Donghyuck whispers when he’s done. His throat is destroyed from the crying. Mark takes him by the hand before he can move away and squeezes in reassurance. “Can we please not talk about this?” Donghyuck pleads. 

“No,” Mark denies. “We’re talking about this now, Donghyuck. Tell me what happened, yeah? You weren’t that clear on your message.”

Truth be told, Mark couldn’t understand shit on the voice message Donghyuck sent him because he was crying so much, and the few things he could pick up were about Jaemin and a fight and that, “You guys broke up?” Mark asks gently.

“You punched Jaemin without even knowing what happened?” Donghyuck deflects.

“He made you cry,” Mark points out. “You sounded devastated and that’s enough reason for me to kill a man.”

Donghyuck laughs, despite himself. Mark grins in satisfaction and prompts him again to talk. “I broke up with Jaemin,” Donghyuck sighs. “We had a huge fight. He got mad because I talked to you first and I blew up on him. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so mad,” Donghyuck chokes up, “Or so jealous. He kept saying shit and I said so much shit too and then I told him I was done. That I was done with him. He left after that. Jeno and Renjun tried talking to me but I ignored them and they eventually left, too.”

“I’m so sorry, Hyuck,” Mark says honestly. Donghyuck is tired of crying but that doesn’t stop him from doing it again, falling into Mark’s arm the second the alpha offers him a hug. Mark rubs his back and pets his hair, pulls out all the tricks he’s got to soothe him and nothing works. “Can I ask… what did you fight about? Because Jaemin seemed particularly displeased by me today, to put it mildly.”

Donghyuck hesitates telling him. His fight with Jaemin brought up a lot of buried feelings he had years ago and the last thing he wants or needs right now is to make Mark uncomfortable. But if he can’t trust Mark with this… Jaemin already proved to be unreliable on the matter, anyway, Donghyuck thinks bitterly.

“He still thinks I’m in love with you. He said he and Jeno and Renjun were replacements for you and that is such bullshit!” Donghyuck exclaims. “I would never use them like that.”

“Are you?”

Donghyuck stares at Mark. “Stay still,” he says, just to confirm his suspicions. Mark does, not backing away when Donghyuck kisses him.

So the kiss is nice. Mark smells good, even under the blood, and his hand is a comfortable sensation on Donghyuck’s waist and he’s certainly not a bad kisser. But there are no fireworks, no butterflies in his stomach and no feelings.

“I’m not in love with you,” Donghyuck announces. Mark nods and offers to call Yukhei to kick Jaemin’s ass some more. Donghyuck laughs, because he’s relieved and kind of giddy to have the reassurance that he really isn’t into Mark anymore, and declines. “I’m sorry to break it to you but this is the best news I’ve had all my life.”

“A little offended,” Mark chuckles, “But I’m glad too. Now, when are you talking to Jeno and Renjun? And don’t say you’re not because you are, Hyuck. I don’t know how you plan on going about this break up with Jaemin but you have two other boyfriends you need to talk to. Before your brother hears about it, if possible.”

“How would he hear about it? I haven’t told him anything,” 

“Let me draw you a picture,” Mark puffs up his chest. “Jeno is Johnny’s cousin. Johnny is engaged to Taeyong. Taeyong’s best friend is Jaehyun. Jaehyun lives with Sicheng. Sicheng is friends with Kun. Kun is friends with Jungwoo. Jungwoo lives with Dongyoung. If that one doesn’t work for you, Renjun is Sicheng’s cousin. It really shortens the phone game. Oh! I got another one: Jaemin’s cousin is Hansol and Hansol is Yuta’s and Ten’s boyfriend, and Ten is Johnny’s best friend.”

“Fine,” Donghyuck groans. He’ll talk to his boyfriends if it makes Mark stop his little game of connect the dots. “So all our brother figures in our lives are gossipy little fuckers, I get it.”

“They are,” Mark giggles. Donghyuck giggles back at him and they dissolve into a fit of laughter worthy of a couple of kids. 

~

Jeno, true to his nature, smothers Donghyuck in a hug for five minutes straight. Renjun, perhaps a little surprisingly, does the same. They probably look like idiots, just hugging in the middle of the entrance hall to Renjun’s house. 

“Just so you know, I’m fresh out of tears,” Donghyuck announces. “I just want to be on the same page as you guys.”

“The same page?” Renjun asks carefully. “Hyuck... Let me ask you something: Did you mean it when you broke up with Jaemin?”

Donghyuck hesitates. Jeno is staring at him with imploring eyes and Renjun seems terrified to hear what Donghyuck might have to say. “Not really. I’m pissed at him, yeah, and I’m kinda glad Mark beat his ass but I don’t want to break up with him for real. Or you, for that matter.”

“Us?” Jeno and Renjun squeak in unison. 

“Well, yeah,” Donghyuck stammers. “I just assumed that, if Jaemin and I broke up, it would be easier if I didn’t date you two, either. So I don’t make things more complicated.”

Renjun shakes his head. “Stop, stop saying that. Stop pinning everything on you. Jaemin was an asshole – not that you were much better, mind you – but I don’t want to break up with you, ever. Neither does Jeno. And I really think you two can work out your shit if you actually talk instead of yell.”

“I don’t even know how to talk to Jaemin,” Donghyuck whines. “I want to apologize for accusing him of sleeping with other people. I know he would never do that and I regret saying it but I feel like we keep going back to the same argument over and over again and it’s so fucking tiring.”

“We get that,” Jeno says softly. “But we’re not the ones you have to say that to. Although I would love to hear why you think you’re not enough so I can fix it. I don’t want you to feel less than us, never.”

“No, Jeno, I was being stupid and blowing things out of proportion.”

“No,” Renjun sighs. “New rule: no saying that. Communication. Now tell us.”

Donghyuck gives them the short version of his thoughts, which is still enough to bring them up to speed. By the end of it, Renjun moves closer and says, “Were you dropped on your head as a baby? Everything about our relationship is unconventional so why do you care about something as menial as roles? Ruts? I don’t give two shits about that and you know that. Jeno doesn’t either, I mean, look at him. You know that we would blow up the moon if you asked. And Jaemin loves you; he’s just an idiot with his head shoved up his ass sometimes.”

“We’re not being very fair to Jaemin,” Jeno frowns. “This isn’t entirely his fault either. Yeah, he likes to bring up old arguments but you guys forget how much of a softie he is, and he’s kind of insecure too. Let’s not forget that.”

“You’re right,” Donghyuck says. He’s glad he talked to them, because now he has a different perspective of things and he has the motivation to fix things with Jaemin. “Thanks, Jeno. Thanks, Renjun. I love you guys so, so much,” he adds softly.

“We love you too, Hyuckie,” Renjun whisper as he kisses his temple. “Please don’t forget that.”

Jeno frowns sadly. “Can we cuddle before you go talk to Jaemin? This is a lot of emotional exhaustion in just one room.”

~

Talking to Jaemin requires a lot of breathing exercises from Donghyuck but he builds up the courage to visit him the next weekend. He would have gone sooner, him being impatient and all, yet Renjun insists he takes it easy and gives both Jaemin and himself some breathing room first. 

Jaemin looks like absolute shit when he opens the door. His eye is still swollen from his fight with Mark and he doesn’t look like he’s showered recently. Donghyuck only showered because Mark threw him into the bathroom and turned the water on. 

“Hey,” Donghyuck says awkwardly. Jaemin doesn’t even greet him before he crushes him in a hug. “I’m so sorry, Jaem. Can we talk?”

“I don’t want to talk,” Jaemin says into his shirt, “We’re useless at talking. And Jeno already blabbed to me about everything.”

Donghyuck would love to not talk, but they have to. “I insist,” Donghyuck pleads.

It’s a long conversation. They talk for two hours straight, about their fight, about their insecurities, about all the things that they’ve kept bottled up over the years. Donghyuck confesses to kissing Mark just to prove that he was over him and Jaemin almost blows a fuse, but Donghyuck gives him a stern look that has Jaemin deflating on the couch. Jaemin admits that he flirts so much because sometimes he feels like the odd one out; that he feels intimidated by the bonds Donghyuck has with Jeno and Mark; that sometimes he doesn’t feel like Renjun likes him as much as he used to. Donghyuck apologizes for accusing Jaemin of cheating on him, assuring him that he knows he would never do that to any of them. Jaemin apologizes for punching Mark in the face. Donghyuck tells him he’s being stupid. Jaemin tells Donghyuck he’s an idiot. Afterwards, Jaemin promises to stop keeping his feelings if Donghyuck does the same, and that he’ll talk to Renjun too. 

“Are we cool?” Jaemin asks hopefully.

Donghyuck grins brilliantly. “We’re cool. Now get over here and kiss me, I missed you.”

**Author's Note:**

> i killed two birds with one stone and wrote this! if you have any prompts for this au or the supernatural au or anything else you can leave them on my cc!! i also enjoy writing little headcanons for you guys so you can also ask away!!
> 
> (ok idk wtf is up with my links they're not working and i give up if you want my twt or cc links you can check them out in previous works!)


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